An Internet Joke: The Grill and The Bottom

Dan and his wife were working in their garden one day when Dan looks over at his wife and says: "Your butt is getting big - I mean really big. I bet your butt is bigger than the barbeque." With that, he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measures the grill and then went over to where his wife was working and measured his wife's bottom. "Yeah, I was right. Your butt is two inches wider than the barbeque!!!" The wife chooses to ignore her husband.

Later that night in bed, Dan is feeling a little frisky. He makes some advances towards his wife, who completely brushes him off. "What's wrong?" he asks. ( ( Duh! ))

She answers: "Did you really think I was going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?"

I thought this was funny – thanks J.T!

For the record friends, please do not send me any internet jokes unless they are really funny. Especially don’t send me no ‘niggaz’ jokes; ‘niggaz at the funeral, you know you’re in the ghetto when, etc….’ I find those offensive. For those of you who don’t want me to send you any political stuff…well, that’s too bad J. Love you too!

Lost – A Revelation and Adventure

It is 4am and I have just returned from Upstate. As per my cousin's instruction, I took an alternate route back. I was able to maneuver all the various exits and changes, actually, until I got very close to home. It was at that point that I lost my bearings, and got miserably lost. I was so off course that at one point I considered just pulling up in someone's driveway and taking a nap til the sun came up. (But then there were visions of bears, rabid deer, etc.) I thought about going to the state police station but it was late, and I was a woman alone, and scantily clad at that - and so I was scared (I'd much sooner go into the local pub at that hour!).

I went in circles several times before finally being guided to a street that actually had light, traffic, and open businesses – what a novelty! I was directed (by a gas station attendant who was nice enough to let me use his restroom at such an ungodly hour) to the appropriate highway. Once merging onto the highway, I knew exactly where I was. I recognized the overhead signs - the Getty service station on one side, and the Mobil on the other. In the blinking of an eye I was home.

Exiting the parkway at 158th street, I let out a great sigh of relief. Audibly, I thanked Infinite Intelligence for guidance and protection; for showing me the way - I did ask....although, after I had tried it my way a number of times and failed. I marveled at how incredibly close to home I had been, at the point where I actually got lost. And, for the life of me, I could not trace my tracks, to figure out exactly how it was I had finally arrived.....

Such is life.

One last thought…..

If you are selling a house in Ft. Greene, try lopping of $100G or so, so that maybe, just maybe, somebody Black could buy it. And, on the other end: we have to figure out how to purchase property, if not individually then collectively, so that maybe, just maybe we could stop getting moved out of our neighborhoods…

QUESTION: What was the most exciting and memorable thing I did while my kids were away at camp?
(answer at the top)

See you next time!!!

Misha

omomisha@bigplanet.com
www.omomisha.com
212.969.0106

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